Tag Archive: responsibility


What If

 

Who would have thought that life’s most cherishing gift would be as hard to solve as Sudoku? The puzzle of love has kept me awake for more nights than a graveyard shift security officer. The lost sleep seems to only fuel the fire of my thoughts, in which I seek for answers to life’s most rewarding feeling. Sometimes it seems like my mind and heart are in two different time zones, which only creates confusion when it comes to understanding that the person I have wanted for so long, may be right in my face and I never even knew it.

The worst thing that a person could say is WHAT IF?  The feeling of wondering what could have been only adds to the misery of lost promise. If you ever were unfortunate enough to be in that situation, then you will understand where I am coming from, because it is like a never ending migraine on your heart. Regardless of the future, in which love may bloom in your heart on a daily basis, the ONE that got away may never escape the prison of your mind. It’s that ONE person that got away, that will haunt the dreams of your heart for eternity like a nightmare on elm street movie. 

So with that understood, I must finally muster enough courage to tell the ONE that she is what makes my world complete. She is the ONE, who possesses the kerosene that lights the fire in my belly and warms my heart. Without her, life would go on as normal, but with her, life would be as magical as meteor shower across a perfectly clear sky. Her smile awakens my soul and her touch matures my spirit. The sight of her causes my vision to blur others out, as her voice constantly interrupts my daily thoughts. She defines a queen and commands my full attention as if she was mightier than Alexander the Great himself.

For so long, I have traveled life’s unforgiving road of heartbreak and disappointment and I finally found the person who was the missing piece of my puzzle. To throw that away would sillier than a Charlie Sheen interview. Things can go from great to worst in a nanosecond and before you know it, that person that could have been the ONE,  has slipped out the back door of your heart and you never saw them leave. There is no time to be afraid of looking weak when it comes to telling the ONE that keeps you and your heart up at night, that you want them in your life. There should never be a muzzle on your heart, so the key is to tell that ONE person before it’s too late and they have left out the back door of your heart and didn’t even close the door.

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“I’m not saying I am going to rule the world, but if I keep talking about how dirty it is, somebody going to clean it up” Tupac Shakur

In a society where the public image of us is negative and violent, it is up to us to change that. In a country where they have brainwashed our youth into thinking that being an athlete or entertainer is the only cool careers out, it is up to us to change that. The statistics don’t lie and we are to blame for our own demise, but that doesn‘t mean we have to follow suit. We live in a world of the jealous, greedy, deceitful and hateful, but that shouldn’t compromise our mission to create a generation of prideful black men like the ones who got tired of injustices in America and created the civil rights movement. Young men who honor their duty to serve the community with pride, love and patience. When children see us black brothers, they see their future and what they are seeing now is not what our ancestors wanted. They see a generation of disrespectful men who don’t value family, love, relationships or themselves. We treat women as if they were unlovable pets, we value money more than education and we disrespect ourselves by abusing our bodies with alcohol, drugs and sex. Is that setting an example? No it’s not.

The statistics show that black men are nearly seven times more likely to be incarcerated, with average jail sentences about 10 months longer than white men. We all know there is a double standard in the judicial system, we also know that we could argue that fatherlessness, a pervasive negative entertainment culture, racism, and multi-generational poverty in family structures in the black communities has a serious impact, but that doesn’t make a excuse for you to go rob your neighbor or beat up your girlfriend to get sent there. The white man or any other man is not to blame for you not going to college or selling drugs on the corner, you are to blame only yourself.

They say that black males between the ages of 15-34 are nearly eight times as likely to suffer from AIDS as their white counterparts. Once again, these numbers are not exaggerated for the hatred of the black man, sex it is clearly represented in our society and we took the bait and ran with it. Look at our movies, listen to our songs and you will understand that we have been creating an atomic bomb in our own communities that is corrupting our young at an astounding rate. Back in the day, the black man was looked at as a protector, provider and loyal husband. Now the stereotypes paint us as being either an exception with athletic gifts, great vocals skill, stupid with humor or having big penises (which isn’t the case for everyone, no matter your ethnicity).

We live in a time where black males ages 15-19 die from homicide at 46 times the rate of white males. Who do we blame for taking a gun and going to kill our neighbor? Oh yeah that is right, blame white people. NO, blame yourself for the ignorance that caused you to kill another person over a block war or a girlfriend that was lying to you both. We have to start using our minds before we wipe ourselves out of positive discussions about great leaders in the world today.

It kills me when I see so many young men talk about women, cars, money, jewelry and other crap in such a shallow manner. I am not being a hypocrite, I have been just as ignorant in my ways at times, but I have realized much sooner than I expected, that I was being what society wanted me to be and I had to change my thinking. My thought process use to blame a woman for me not trusting women in general, rather than looking into the mirror and seeing what I was valuing in a person was shallow ways instilled in me. I never wanted a Mercedes or BMW for myself, I wanted it for attention. Attention that would get me laid or at least a chance to get laid. Clothes and jewelry were bought for the simple pleasure of showing off and staying fresh for the ladies. If I would have just been smart enough to want them things for myself, I would have gotten them a lot quicker and the women would have appreciated me anyways. I thought that way for a long time and now I realize the ignorance I once had and I still see it in so many young black men and young men in general. Ignorance is not racist; it travels along touching everyone no matter your skin color.

Black male achievement begins to decline as early as the fourth grade and by high school; black males are more likely to drop out. In 2001, only 42.8 percent graduated from high school, compared to 70.8 percent for their white counterparts. Now we can say that parents are to blame because of this but I disagree. The slogan: “It takes a village to raise a child” needs to be reinforced. We sit around and see young kids talk about school in such a negative manner in today’s world and I think it is sad that we are not speaking to our little black brothers about the importance of college let alone high school. We need to look at these kids and curse at them in a manner of concern and love for not going to school or even finishing. If we can push, punch or fight a brother for looking at us wrong in the streets, why can’t we grab a brother aside and talk to him about educating himself for his own future and the benefit of the generation after him? I can remember times when I couldn’t even go to my mother or a family member about homework that I needed help on, because they were not educated to do so. That trend has to stop.So that is my point, the more we feed into this negative society that pegs us only athletes, entertainers, felons, gang members, lazy people, sex craved individuals and ignorant men, the more our generations will decay. It is up to me and other young black men to wake up and create a future for our little black brothers that tell them being a basketball or football player is fine, but also receiving an academic scholarship is just as cool. We need doctors, teachers, police officers, honest preachers, loyal husband and fathers and respectful men we can be proud of in our communities to show our little black brothers that you can be anything you want to be and not just another statistic.God Bless

My thanks to single parents

I never thought I would ever fully understand how hard it is to raise a child alone. I just thought it was something that life makes you adjust to, no matter what. I have seen women and men, raise children on their own all my life, most of the time it being a woman. I never really cared to think about how much sacrifice and heartache they go thru time after time. I thought I would have to have a child of my own, to really understand the dedication a single parent has to make, to make life normal for a child being the only parent involved…..

            I am not here to bash dead beat parents, who were too cowardly to man up to their responsibilities. That’s not for me to judge. There are many men and women who take full responsibility to raising their child even when they are separated. I am here to honor the people who do it alone and have no complaints about being a single parent…..

            I was raised by my mother and grandmother and never had a father figure in my life. My biological father has been absent 99 percent of it and the memories I do have of him are visiting him in prison when I was a child. I don’t make excuses for my life being difficult because I never had my father present. I think my life may have been different a little bit, if I would have had a father in my life to show me things. For example, how to shave or talk to girls, dribble my first basketball or throw my first right hand punch and attend my graduations. Maybe my life wouldn’t have some holes in it, but I don’t think it would have altered the way I am as a person. I am happy with my life, because my single parent chose to make my life great no matter what…..

            The unspeakable strength that a single parent has, is something that god only knows. Think about the woman who is left to take care of two twins, because her children’s father decided he doesn’t want to be with her anymore, so he leaves her to be with another woman. What about the widow of a firefighter who is left to take care of her four children after her husband tragically, dies, trying to save a burning building. Where does a single parent get the courage and strength to go on and continue life? How do they keep a smile on their face, when they know it is their sole responsibility to raise the kids? My answer, I don’t know. Whatever it may be, it has to be a special gift from god.

   I am 28 years of age and I have no children. I have lived all over the world and I have met countless women time after time raising children on their own. The interesting thing I have noticed about all of these women was the fact that I never heard excuses. No matter where I was whether it was Chicago, Las Vegas, San Diego, Phoenix, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Orlando, Minneapolis, Australia, Greece, Malaysia and London, women never made excuses. They took the loss of the chin and kept it moving. It was sad to hear that most of these women were raising children on their own, because a man decided he didn’t want a kid, after he had a significant part in making it. But that didn’t matter to the women I met, they were like, fuck him. My child will be ok and have the best life he could have. To me, I was like, damn, I wish I had that strength. But that’s the special gift that single parent possesses.

    So to all the women and men out there who are doing it alone, I want you to understand that I appreciate you. I respect you more than anyone in the world. You are head above shoulders over anyone else. The strength you have to raise a child go on is a joy to see. You give me courage to go out into the world and achieve anything I want to do. For it is you, that makes the world better. I want you all to know that no matter what, there are people like me out there that understand respects and appreciate you. You are the true definition of a hero….God Bless