Tag Archive: heartbreak


A Hibiscus Love

The whispers of your promise float away on a ship that is set to never return. The sunshine appears to fade as the clouds of misery begin to descend upon my heart. What was thought to be true love now appears to be true sadness. The memories of happiness are now frozen in time, with only mental pictures, that now seem like moments that never even happen. Just months ago, our love appeared to be on a journey that had its final destination ending at the gates of eternity. The unconditional nature of our courtship seemed so surreal and now the reality of us not being together is actual pain.

“I once had a recurrent dream where you were an angel and we made love on a cloud outside the gates of heaven. I had not yet proved my worth to enter, so God allowed you to leave to visit me. He understood your love for me so well that he lit the sky perfectly like a big candle and we made love for hours on top of that cloud. Once he summoned for your return, I woke up anxiously waiting to fall back asleep. Each night was the same dream with different scenarios.”

That dream had a drug like effect on my heart and kept me addicted for a long time after you were gone. As fragile as love and life can be, I never looked at our situation in such a short manner. I had no idea that you would be taken away from me so soon, so young and so beautiful. The last words from your mouth were, “I LOVE YOU” and I will never forget them, because you were the only one that has ever actually meant them. You came into my life when I needed you most and you left when I wasn’t strong enough to handle it. My soul appears to be on life support and I am not sure what I am going to do. I just hope that my next dream is one where you bring peace to my heart, so I can once again regain a calmness that you once bestowed on me.

“Our life together seemed to bloom like a Hibiscus flower and fade away just as quickly. You were full of life and love, but you came and went like that beautiful flower that blooms for a day and is gone forever.”

I can never replace what you were and what you stood for, but it is healthy for my soul to do so. I never imagined that I could want to leave this earth to be with you so soon. Life has a funny way of showing you how much it’s in control. When everything appears to be smooth sailing, the sky turns black, the waves get higher and the wind begins to produce a monster hurricane that brings destruction upon your heart. My heart has been shattered into pieces not by disappointment, but by guilt.  The guilt of never really telling you how much I love you while you were here. I took for granted that you would always be around and the moment you wasn’t, my heart began to plunge deep into the ocean of heartbreak.

The impressive physical strength that I possess only makes me feel weaker when I realize it has nothing to do with the strength of the soul. You can’t bench press your heart and a leg press has nothing to do with your spirit.”

As the evening turns to night, I sit on a balcony looking up at the moon wondering if you are on the cloud that once was occupied by my dreams. I wonder if you are up there looking down on me with a smile of promise. A promise of a better tomorrow and an even happier ending. An ending where my dream of making love on a cloud isn’t a dream after all, but a physical reality. A reality where love is not just a thought out process in which hopeless souls day dream, but where hopeless souls find their true counterpart and live a eternal life of joy, honor and commitment that last forever.

“Whether that day appears soon or years later, I will always keep my heart locked away until the day our souls reconnect. You are the one that completed my journey of love and you were taken away too soon, so I am being stubborn with life and shallow to the point of only wanting you to claim what is rightfully yours.”

Will Harris

Talking To Myself

My words seem to be invincible to the one that they are intended for. I wear my feelings on my sleeve which makes me vulnerable to those that can hurt me. I am blessed with honest emotions in which I can show that I care deeply for the one I love, but I feel at times like I am still talking in the mirror. A mirror in which the reflection shows me all alone in a world believing that a word and a feeling still exist in a world that is full of hatred, selfishness, jealousy, greed and materialism. Can she hear me or am I really that invincible to the one that I adore?

At times, you make my life feel as significant as the presidents and other times you make me feel as insignificant as a one dollar bill is to a billionaire. I feel like a lonely ghost pestering your every movement just waiting for you to notice me, but I haven’t seen you take a glimpse in my direction for a while. It is me or am I just that unremarkable to you anymore? Some women are use to the rich, powerful and flashy, when I am only able to offer my true self and that seems not to be good enough for you.

The more I dwell on it, the more I become entrenched in a idea that I may have to be someone other than myself to get what I truly want, but I can’t imagine not being real to myself.Is it worth it?Do I continue to waste all my energy on someone who doesn’t mourn for my attention like I do for theirs? Do I sit and wait for them to notice my existence or do I move on in my search and wait for someone who will be grateful for my heart, commitment, will power and loyalty? Life has always gotten better for those who believed it wouldn’t and love has found those who never even believed in it. Why is that? Death is a guaranteed promised, but love sometimes can make shallow decisions.

 The beautiful people of the world get to choose their fate with love sometimes and the rich can even buy it for a short amount of time, but it seems that the people, who truly deserve it, always get dealt a bad hand by love. It’s like life is our personal blackjack dealer and he is granted a 21 with every hand. He toys with our emotions just to see how we react, lets our confidence get on a hot streak and then all of a sudden here comes blackjack when we decide to bet big or double down on love. Why is that?

That is the million dollar question to an answer that I can’t afford to receive. I guess I will have to wait until my love account has enough sufficient funds in it to finally get that answer. Until then, I choose to stay memorized by the idea of happiness with someone who truly is meant for me. It’s either that or the idea of being with someone who makes me feel like I’m isolated on an island all alone like a castaway and talking to myself

Rather Go Blind

Just the site of your existence paralyzes my every movement. Sudden shifts of your body draws my eyes toward you and moves my soul over a foot. Without words, you make my heart feel like it has entered a nightclub of love through a VIP entrance. Now with these sudden thoughts of losing that feeling I would rather go blind, because the mere thought of not having you makes me not want to live. The moments of my life that seem so perfect have you in them, and I couldn’t stand to try and complete life without you being there to complete me.

You are like my asthma pump and without you there, I can’t breathe easy. You leaving me is like taking all the pure oxygen in my world and leaving me with a toxic filled air to breath. If that is what life has in store for me, I would rather go blind and not be able to see what love truly can be.It’s like you baptized me with a touch of love in which my world became clearer and my heart more pure. It was like my love life was receiving heart surgery and waking up to a new promise, a promise where I held my end of the bargain and showed that I understood what real love was. For all that life has blessed me with; you came into my life as an overpowering challenger to my heart. You easily defeated my worry of trust, loyalty and honesty. You made my heart feel safer than a 20 point lead with two minutes to go in the game and Jordan holding the ball.

To me, you are a goddess and to not have you in my personal heaven, I would rather go blind than to see you leaving me to love someone else.For all its worth, I understand that everything in life happens for a reason, but there is no single reason why my heart could ever love another.  You took my heart when it was homeless and gave it comfort, security and meaning. You allowed my soul to recapture its strength when it was once a defeated victim. For that, I owe you my love and I couldn’t think of loving another, because you are the reason I know what love is. The thoughts of tomorrow and the memories of yesterday allow my mind to stay loyal regardless of temptations. You are my diamond and I am engaged to your love and I would rather go blind if I couldn’t have any of the above.

 

 

The past is something we should use to pilot our future, not something that should have power over us. When we allow our past to dictate what we do now, we are no longer in control of ourselves.

You will never drive life’s highway without sometimes hitting bumps like regrets and heartache. When you do, it’s easy to get stuck there, gazing back into your rearview mirror at the past like a lost soul. That is the same with relationships and many people tend to let their past dictate their future inevitable missing out on someone great, who didn’t get  a fair chance to prove they weren’t the same guy who treated you like crap.

On the outside, people can appear to be the same sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they are. I have met so many women in my life that have accused me of being like someone they dated, without even letting me have a chance to prove that I was unique in my own way. This did not make me mad or frustrated, it actually turned me off, because here I was, a guy who was genuinely interested in a woman who I wanted to spend time with and she is reminding that I was like a past relationship and it was making it hard for her to really trust me. So I refused to be labeled and I came up with ways for troubled hearts to be mended so they could move on. I wanted to make people understand that pushing a person away is not the answer and it only alienates you from good people who want to see you happy.

For one, holding onto sullenness after someone has hurt you will only continue to hurt you more by poisoning your heart and soul. People need to understand that there is only one antidote to that poison and that is moving on. You have to decide not to allow people who have wronged you to keep controlling your life. You have to remember what people have done to you and never forget, but you must embrace a positive future and think the next person or situation that comes in my life will be positive and not negative. You can’t let the grim past clutch onto your future and stay there like plaque on teeth. You have to cleanse your mind of the unhealthy past and think that what you learned or went through will only make the next relationship or situation better.

Secondly, understanding that it’s healthy to remember your past as long as you’re learning from it and remembering how it can help your future situation for the better. But you must beware of becoming so engrossed with your past that it begins to dictate your present and future. Don’t let your past define you; that’s not healthy for you or the person that you are trying to give your heart to. You have to understand that you’re not a victim of your circumstances and that no one but yourself can tie you to the past; you decide whether or not to move on, not anyone else. Realize that your experiences in life aren’t just for your own benefit – they’re also designed to help other people. You can apply what you’ve learned about moving on to encourage others to do the same. There is nothing better than seeing someone help a person through a tough situation they also went through.

Last but not least, how many times have you heard a person say they don’t want to get involved because they don’t want to get their hurt broken again? While this seems like a reasonable outlook after dealing with such a “controlling, lying, or cheating” partner, it is really just a crutch.

When a person compares everyone in their future with the people of their past who have hurt them, they are voluntarily letting them the control their future as well. They are still attached to them in a way that is even worse than when they were together, because now, it isn’t even a real person who controls them, but a shadow of bad memories. It is up to you as an individual to not let yourself be controlled by your past’s ghost. You must remind yourself that you are not with them for a reason and they didn’t deserve you in the first place. Once you come to embrace that you as a partner deserves to be treated like a king or queen, you will then fully understand that the past is the past and it can’t control the beautiful future that awaits you.

EMBRACE YOUR HAPPINESS

Once upon a time you were my perfectly pick flower, a rose that stood out of a dozen. At first,  you seemed to be like the rest of the bunch when it came to appearance, substance and quality. All were exquisite to me at the time, but you stood out like a unicorn among fine horses, just pure beauty you were. I gravitated towards your essence like a bee to the core of a perfect flower. I was fascinated by your splendor and smell from the beginning, but as I came to know more about you, you taught me that deeply rooted in your DNA, was a bloodline of enthusiasm, grace and positivity that made everyone and everything around you feel enhanced.

“You use to be my rose”

I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Anything I did, you were by my side. You were my support and I was the sunlight you greatly required. My love for you flowed like the water you thirst for. I was your protective vase and I became the essential shade that you needed on a daily basis. You were very distinctive from all of the other flowers that I came across in my life. No matter where I was or who I was with, my mind stayed on you. There was no comparing when it came to comparison; you were the Babe Ruth of flowers.

“You use to be my rose”

Sometimes it feels like I hear your footsteps outside my door, but I shouldn’t think that because you are not mines anymore. You did everything right to keep me and my ambiance beautiful. I became lethargic as you continued to shine through my bullshit, and sooner than later, you finally gave up on me. I don’t blame you though, you deserve someone great. Someone who knows what a perfectly picked flower is. Someone that is gracious enough to sacrifice their own time to make sure you are well taken care of.

“You use to be my rose”

I indeed did what every amateur florist does, and that was taking you for granted. The sunlight I once was, became  dim as a dull light bulb. The water you once thirsted for, became dry as a desert lake. I am without words because I took your innocence and beauty for granted. You were the most loyal thing I could have ever asked for, and I couldn’t provide the simplest attention that you warned for to keep you happy.

I don’t deserve you and I don’t want another chance. All I ask is that you find someone who does. You are too rare to be taken lightly, and your exquisiteness should be in the presence of someone who cherishes such a thing. I know now that you are by far the most precious thing I ever had and it is far, far too late to step up to the plate……

“You use to be my rose, rose, rose”………

“But not anymore”