A Letter To You

The smell of winter brings a thought of tomorrow as I ogle towards the future with a boyish grin. The crush I have for the future seems to will itself into my daily thoughts as I realize it is only blocks away. The countless nights of naïve choices have caused me to think of what my future may hold if I continue down this path of self- immolation. For so long, what seemed to be a phantasm in my mind is actually a physical reality that I have mourned for since the first time I realized what LOVE was.

The thought of you releases a heavenly amount of endorphins that only a devilishly vain person can receive from a mirror after a workout in the gym. No amount of time or space can negate the beautiful thoughts of being with you someday. If I appear weak or soft in my thinking, I only want it to be that because I am in love with you. I lay in my bed staring at the flat bedding on the other side of me and cross my fingers in hope of my prayers being answered. The prayers of hope and promise are all I wish to be answered. A promise that allows my soul to prove that I belong in your life. I promised that I would commit myself to anyone who made my soul skip and you have me tripping over my own feet. From the beginning, you have made my confidence feel taller than Yao Ming and your ability to motivate me is like being coached by the likes Vince Lombardi, Phil Jackson or John Wooden.

The trust I provide for your heart will out weigh anyone’s bank account, but my effort to gain financial freedom will be relentless because I want to be able to travel to the moon with you. You can’t put a price tag on love, but I don’t mind going bankrupt with my heart so that I can figure out if this is possible love and not unthoughtful lust. The more I travel through life’s dark tunnel; I learn that we all need someone who has an extra set of batteries just in case our light goes out in the dark. We all bare the seed of foolish pride that tells us that we can do anything alone (which we can), but it is much easier when you have someone in your life with an extra set of batteries just in case your flashlight goes out in life’s caliginous tunnel.

In that case, my need for adoration is similar to a man stranded in the Sahara desert thirsting for water. I am constantly seeking it so that I replenish my soul in order to avoid dehydration. The way you replenished my life was as refreshing as baptism and life seemed more colorful as I walked out of the life’s negative shadow and into the light of  positivity.  In the past, winters have always had the ability to freeze my heart in order to protect my feelings.  I had always shunned away potential dilemmas that had a chance to discourage my beliefs towards love, but you were the fireplace that made me feel warmer towards commitment in a time when the world seemed so frigid.  The world has the ability to make people who are as precious as a rose, turn into Datura’s, but you are beyond a threat to my heart. As I continue to glide through life tough terrain, I ask you to be my eternal co-pilot, so that I feel safe in a time of struggle and blissful even when the clouds are as dark as coal. I have already chosen my partner for life, but the only question I have for her, is has she chosen me?

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